What I Wish I Knew Before Moving My Family to Portugal

Moving a young family abroad sounds like a dream—and sometimes it is. Sunshine, slower rhythms, a fresh start. But behind the Instagram version of life in Portugal is a reality filled with bureaucratic mazes, cultural curveballs, and a crash course in starting from scratch.

Here are a few things I wish someone had told me before making the leap with small kids in tow:

Bureaucracy Is a Full-Time Job

What I wish I knew:

Getting your family legally settled in Portugal takes time and often multiple trips to government offices. AIMA (nee SEF) appointments, NIF numbers, SNS registration, and school enrollment all move at their own unpredictable pace.

Tip:

Start your paperwork as early as possible. A relocation consultant or immigration lawyer might seem like a luxury, but if you have the budget, it can prevent serious headaches, especially if you're juggling kids at the same time.

What we did:

We went with an immigration lawyer and the €5,000 fee more than paid for itself in saved anxiety.

Schooling Will Feel Foreign, Because It Is

What I wish I knew:

The Portuguese school system uses a different calendar and age cutoff (Dec. 31, not August or September), and public schools often assume full Portuguese fluency. Yes, even for 3- and 4-year-olds. That said, some schools are incredibly welcoming and have experience with foreign families.

Tip:

If your child is under 6, a preschool or creche can be a great entry point into the language and culture. International schools are an easier landing, but come with steep tuition and often waitlists. Tour multiple schools, talk to other parents, and trust your gut.

What we did:

We found a Portuguese creche and enrolled our 5- and 3-year-old. It’s a mix of probably 75/25 local-to-international students but taught in Portuguese. In our first year, both kids understand and speak Portuguese extremely well, correcting us often, and we’re sending our oldest to a local primary school in the fall where he’ll continue learning in Portuguese. There were certainly frustrating times but having a couple other students in each class who also spoke English was a huge help. 

Kids Experience Culture Shock Too

What I wish I knew:

We focus so much on our own adjustment that it’s easy to overlook how hard this is for kids. New food, new language, new friends (or none at first). It’s a lot.

Tip:

Keep their routines as steady as possible. Let them help decorate their room, pick out a local snack they like, and find small sources of familiarity. They often adapt faster than adults, but they also feel the bumps more deeply.

What we did:

We probably spent too much time worried about the kids. After about three months we looked up and realized the kids were thriving and we were the ones who hadn’t taken advantage of our new home. 

Healthcare Is Excellent… If You Can Navigate It

What I wish I knew:

Portugal’s public healthcare system is solid, but access can be slow, especially for non-urgent pediatric care. Getting an SNS number and assigned family doctor takes time, and most staff will speak Portuguese only.

Tip:

Private clinics like CUF and Hospital da Luz offer faster appointments and English-speaking staff. A good private insurance plan (like Médis, Multicare, or Allianz) can bridge the gap your first year while you figure out the public system.

What we did:

Got a private insurance plan and most often use CUF for appointments or urgent care.

You’ll Feel the Lack of a Village

What I wish I knew:

Even if you're an independent type, raising young kids without nearby family or a built-in support system is tough. And finding “your people” takes time.

Tip:

Join local parent groups (look for expat parenting Facebook groups or WhatsApp chats), attend library storytimes or local meetups, and don't be shy about inviting someone for coffee after one playground chat. These small connections matter.

What we did:

Most other expat families are just like you, and probably understand the tough early parts of moving. You’ll never meet a more welcoming group of people who are all down to exchange numbers and meet up. Even if you don’t become best friends, seeing familiar faces around town goes a long way. 

Cost of Living Isn’t Always Low

What I wish I knew:

Portugal can be affordable, but Lisbon, Cascais, and much of the Algarve have seen major price hikes in recent years. Childcare, rent, and cars are often more expensive than expected.

Tip:

Use real conversations, not blogs or expat forums (looking at ourselves here too), to build your budget. Ask local families what they pay for groceries, preschool, utilities. And budget for the one-time costs: buying furniture, legal fees, and temporary housing when you arrive.

What we did:

We braced ourselves for similar costs to back home for many items knowing we’d save big on things like out-of-pocket healthcare (even on the private plan). Unfortunately, we did end up purchasing a car when we had hoped we could be car-free for a while. That would probably only work in the middle of Lisbon or Porto. 

Patience Isn’t Optional

What I wish I knew:

No matter how well you plan, something will go sideways. A missed appointment, a misunderstood form, or just the emotional toll of not knowing what you’re doing. And it’s like that every day.

Tip:

Expect the first 6 to 12 months to feel messy. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Eventually, your “new normal” emerges, and what once felt overwhelming becomes second nature. But give yourself grace in the meantime.

What we did:

It’s a 2 steps forward, 1 step back feeling constantly. Embrace it and appreciate when the seemingly simple task is exactly that, and try not to spiral when you waste four hours to accomplish nothing. We’ve spiraled, and it doesn’t change the fact that it was out of your control. Just go to the beach and get some vitamin D. 

Moving abroad can, and will be, a beautiful experience for your family, but it’s not a shortcut to an easier life. The challenges are real, but so is the reward. And when your kid orders their bacalhau in perfect Portuguese, or when a local neighbor starts to feel like family, you’ll know it was worth the leap.

Until next time,

Benn (+ Melissa)